New normal: how do we end up accepting the unheard of?

 For the past few months, we've been emotionally living on a roller coaster. At first the lockdown eradicated all our habits, then the new waves of infections catapulted us into the "new normal" marked by restlessness, uncertainty and social distancing to which we are not used.

This unprecedented crisis not only forced us to face unthinkable situations just a few months ago that upset our habits, but also forces us to rethink what we consider "normal". Immersed in this delicate process of rebalancing and losing the cardinal points that had guided us until now, we must be very careful about the behaviors, ways of thinking and attitudes that we normalize.

From ideal to frequent: how is normality built?

We are generally reluctant to accept changes in our routine. The resistance to change drives us to stay in our comfort zone . But this trend largely depends on how our brain normalizes the behaviors and circumstances we are experiencing.

If we consider that something is "normal", even if it implies a change, we will be more willing to accept it as part of our life. The “problem” is that the concept of normality can vary extraordinarily, especially in extreme circumstances or characterized by great uncertainty.

What is common is normal, what most of the people around us do, think and feel. At the start of the pandemic, seeing people wearing masks was rare. Now it has become common and the abnormal thing is to see someone without it. When something becomes common, we end up assuming it as normal.

In fact, we all have a kind of "radar" that allows us to detect normality. This radar helps us avoid abnormal behaviors so that we can better fit into society and avoid being rejected or marginalized. It also helps us feel better about the decisions we make, because in many cases normality serves as a justification behind which to hide.

A study developed at Yale University revealed that normal is not just what is common. Our concept of normality is not just a statistic. These psychologists concluded that "people's representations of what is normal are influenced by both what they believe is descriptively common and what they think is prescriptively ideal."

This means that "normal" is a combination of statistical and moral notions, it goes beyond what we consider common to also include what we consider ideal. Normality therefore implies two different forms of reasoning: on the one hand we check how things are around us and, on the other, we think about how they should be.

And it is precisely this moral component projected into the future that sometimes prevents us from accepting a certain "normality". But this component isn't bomb-proof, it's much more fragile than we think, and shifts with relative ease when times are uncertain.

Immersed in a state of constant normalization

On an individual and cultural level we develop a series of reference points, a sort of "mental marker" that we use to assess normality in our lives. These points, however, move based on what we observe around us, in our community.

In the midst of this pandemic, many of our landmarks have unlocked in unison. The rituals and habits that have helped us to establish those points of reference emotionally and mentally have changed, so much so that many of the old customs are no longer valid for dealing with this "new normal".

In a way, we were forced into a new, strange and almost surreal world that we couldn't even imagine just a year ago. This puts many people in trouble, challenging their traditional reference points. Our reality changes every day, moving at the pace set by the contagion curve, so we find ourselves mired in a state of constant normalization.

Unfortunately, not all people have the necessary tools to face in an assertive way the unpredictability that has entered our life by generating a real psychological tsunami. This means that the "new normal" we are building right now may be the "new abnormality" of how we grieve, distance ourselves or become more intolerant.

The exalted, extremist and uncompromising behaviors that in normal times would be condemned can flourish in uncertain times, becoming more and more common. When uncertainty reigns, many seek refuge in the "pseudo-truths" that give them security, regardless of whether they are true or not.

This is why authoritarian drifts, intolerant attitudes and prohibitions often appear accompanied by suspicious or aggressive responses, an explosive cocktail that inhibits not only dialogue but also all forms of reasoning.

As a result, we can begin to see those behaviors and attitudes as more normal. By excusing them and labeling them as less negative, they generate less indignation, until they end up generalizing becoming the "new normal".

But that was not the "new normal". The new normal was a commitment to do things better. A greater sense of responsibility. In difficult and more vulnerable conditions, but also by betting on common well-being. With more empathy, intelligence and awareness.

So now more than ever, we need to understand that whatever we do to compensate for our old routines or ways of thinking will turn into that "new normal," which perhaps will continue for a long time. But we must be very careful, because what has entered our consciousness has the power to normalize - for better or for worse.

Sources:

Bear, A. & Knobe, J. (2017) Normality: Part descriptive, part prescriptive. Cognition ; 167: 25-37.

Epstude, K. & Roese, NJ (2008) The Functional Theory of Counterfactual Thinking. Pers Soc Psychol Rev ; 12 (2): 168–192.

Murphy, C. (2020) How our brains rationalize “normal”. In:  Dame Magazine .